"In serving parents, gently remonstrate. If you see they are not inclined to follow, remain respectful and do not oppose; labor without resentment."

Chinese Original

事父母几谏。见志不从，又敬不违，劳而不怨。

English Rendering

In serving parents, gently remonstrate. If you see they are not inclined to follow, remain respectful and do not oppose; labor without resentment.

Chinese Translation

孔子说:"对父母的缺点要委婉地劝说，父母不听，仍要恭顺，虽心忧而不可怀恨。"

Modern Meaning

In "事父母几谏," Confucius focuses on in serving parents, gently remonstrate. The exact principle is that purpose must be strong enough to survive discomfort, delay, and pressure. The tension is not generic will and resolve; it is the specific problem that people confuse a wish with a commitment and abandon it when status, comfort, or difficulty changes, which still appears in working on a long responsibility that has no immediate reward.

How to Apply Today

Use this teaching today in working on a long responsibility that has no immediate reward. Because this line says "In serving parents, gently remonstrate," name the responsibility, then choose the next visible step instead of waiting for motivation, so the lesson becomes visible in one behavior.

Reflection Question

For "事父母几谏" (row 157, 孝亲篇 / On Filial Piety and Fraternal Duty), Which commitment am I calling important while treating it as optional?

Action Step

Complete one visible step on a long-term responsibility before taking on a new task, specifically in response to this demand: "In serving parents, gently remonstrate."

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Related Quotes

More Confucius quotes connected to this theme.

On Filial Piety and Fraternal Duty

今之孝者，是谓能养。至於犬马，皆能有养。不敬，何以别乎?

"Today's filial piety means being able to provide support. But dogs and horses are also supported. Without reverence, what is the difference?"

In "今之孝者，是谓能养," Confucius focuses on today's filial piety means being able to provide support. The exact principle is that relationships are sustained by concrete duties of care, trust, respect, and restraint. The tension is not generic relationships; it is the specific problem that people treat loyalty and respect as feelings while neglecting the small acts that make them credible, which still appears in interacting with family, colleagues, elders, juniors, or a friend who depends on your reliability.

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On Filial Piety and Fraternal Duty

父母之年，不可不知也。一则以喜，一则以惧。

"One must know the age of one's parents: on one hand, it is a joy; on the other, a source of concern."

In "父母之年，不可不知也," Confucius focuses on one must know the age of one's parents. The exact principle is that relationships are sustained by concrete duties of care, trust, respect, and restraint. The tension is not generic relationships; it is the specific problem that people treat loyalty and respect as feelings while neglecting the small acts that make them credible, which still appears in interacting with family, colleagues, elders, juniors, or a friend who depends on your reliability.

Read this Confucius quote

On Filial Piety and Fraternal Duty

仁者，人也，亲亲为大。

"Humanity means being human; loving one's family is the greatest part."

In "仁者，人也，亲亲为大," Confucius focuses on humanity means being human. The exact principle is that virtue is proven by choices when convenience, fear, or comparison pulls the other way. The tension is not generic humanity and virtue; it is the specific problem that people praise goodness in principle but fail to move toward it when a concrete moment asks for cost, which still appears in noticing a person to emulate, a fault to avoid, or a small chance to do the right thing.

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