"Look at what a person does, observe the reasons behind it, and examine where he is at ease. How can the person hide?"

On Friends

有朋自远方来，不亦乐乎?

"Is it not a joy to have friends come from afar?"

In "有朋自远方来，不亦乐乎," Confucius focuses on is it not a joy to have friends come from afar. The exact principle is that relationships are sustained by concrete duties of care, trust, respect, and restraint. The tension is not generic relationships; it is the specific problem that people treat loyalty and respect as feelings while neglecting the small acts that make them credible, which still appears in interacting with family, colleagues, elders, juniors, or a friend who depends on your reliability.

On Friends

主忠信，无友不如己者。过则勿惮改。

"Put loyalty and trustworthiness first; do not befriend those who are not your equal. When you make a mistake, do not fear correcting it."

In "主忠信，无友不如己者," Confucius focuses on put loyalty and trustworthiness first. The exact principle is that moral progress begins by turning judgment inward before turning it outward. The tension is not generic self examination; it is the specific problem that people notice faults in others faster than they correct the same pattern in themselves, which still appears in feeling irritated by another person's mistake, weakness, or success.

On Friends

知者不失人，亦不失言。

"The wise person does not lose people, and also does not lose words."

In "知者不失人，亦不失言," Confucius focuses on the wise person does not lose people, and also does not lose words. The exact principle is that words should be slower than responsibility and close enough for action to catch them. The tension is not generic speech and action; it is the specific problem that people use speech to look capable before their conduct has earned that confidence, which still appears in promising a deadline, offering an opinion, asking a question, or joining a discussion.