"A person of character is distressed by his own lack of ability, not by others not knowing him."

On Human Relations

巧言令色，鲜矣仁!

"Clever words and an ingratiating appearance are seldom associated with humanity."

In "巧言令色，鲜矣仁!," Confucius focuses on clever words and an ingratiating appearance are seldom associated with humanity. The exact principle is that virtue is proven by choices when convenience, fear, or comparison pulls the other way. The tension is not generic humanity and virtue; it is the specific problem that people praise goodness in principle but fail to move toward it when a concrete moment asks for cost, which still appears in noticing a person to emulate, a fault to avoid, or a small chance to do the right thing.

On Human Relations

贫而无怨难，富而无骄易。

"It is hard to be poor without resentment; it is easier to be rich without arrogance."

In "贫而无怨难，富而无骄易," Confucius focuses on it is hard to be poor without resentment. The exact principle is that wisdom has to become a visible pattern of conduct, not a sentence one merely agrees with. The tension is not generic conduct; it is the specific problem that people understand a principle abstractly but fail to choose the behavior it requires in the next situation, which still appears in facing a routine decision where character is easier to postpone than practice.

On Human Relations

不患人之不己知，患其不能 也

"Do not worry that others do not know you; worry that you lack ability."

In "不患人之不己知，患其不能 也," Confucius focuses on do not worry that others do not know you; worry that you lack ability. The exact principle is that moral progress begins by turning judgment inward before turning it outward. The tension is not generic self examination; it is the specific problem that people notice faults in others faster than they correct the same pattern in themselves, which still appears in feeling irritated by another person's mistake, weakness, or success.